A Wife and Mom's Rule of Life: Third P - Partner (our husbands)
Review of Objective
Here we will be scheduling the time needed to help your husband on a practical level as well as simply making yourself available to spend time with him. Wives need to be available to our husbands before most everything else. Please thoughtfully ask yourself if you are giving the best of yourself to your children, before your spouse. And try to concern yourself with giving, not receiving, remembering that love is not a feeling, it is a decision.
“In the 3rd P we deal with the first purpose of the sacrament
of Marriage: the development of a deep and personal relationship between the
spouses, reflecting the special grace of unity shared by married couples”
– Holly Pierlot
– Holly Pierlot
Catechism 1643 "Conjugal
love involves a totality, in which all the elements of the person enter … It
aims at a deeply personal unity, a unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads
to forming one heart and soul.”
“Marriages fail only when spouses
fail to be Christian.” -Fulton Sheen
Book Reference
Read A Mother’s Rule of Life, Chapter 5, “The Third P: Partner”
Instructions
1.
Pray:
Come, Holy Spirit. Come by the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Your well-beloved spouse. I pray that this time and my steps are ordered toward You, Lord, as I discern Your Will for our family and create my rule. I commit and entrust myself wholly to Your guidance, expecting You to cause my thoughts to become agreeable to Your will, so my planning will be blessed and these efforts will bear fruit. I ask this through Christ, Our Lord, Amen.
Come, Holy Spirit. Come by the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Your well-beloved spouse. I pray that this time and my steps are ordered toward You, Lord, as I discern Your Will for our family and create my rule. I commit and entrust myself wholly to Your guidance, expecting You to cause my thoughts to become agreeable to Your will, so my planning will be blessed and these efforts will bear fruit. I ask this through Christ, Our Lord, Amen.
2.
Pre-assessment: Before I progress, do I need to
heal any hurts? …forgive my husband, unconditionally, like Christ did for me?
3.
Assess - Questions to ask yourself as you
continue creating your rule:
When can I open up a regular chunk
of time just to be available to my husband?
Can we schedule a date night? weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly for
starters? ? No money for a date night?
Walk in the park? Slow Drive? Or just keep your evenings unscheduled somewhat
and be led by his needs
- What type of things can I arrange? Intimacy? What are his expectations vs. mine? Yes, it’s OK to ask him. Yes, it’s OK to schedule intimacy (especially when you have young children! This might make him happier than you know and reduce frustration.)
- Does my husband need any help from me aside from housework? Are there any little things he appreciates (hot coffee ready in the morning or cold beer when he gets home), ways I could help make his life a little easier?
- Should I schedule the children to be ‘occupied’ when he gets home from work so he’s not overwhelmed?
- How can I plan meals that he enjoys? See Appendix for Menu Template.
- You’re praying for him, explicitly, daily, right? If not, add.
- Funny as it sounds, you can schedule a smooch goodbye for your love and smooch when he home. Creates beautiful habits… and your children are watching.
- Do you know your husband’s temperament? Should you adjust your expectations of him accordingly?
- Do you know your husband’s love language? Ways you respond accordingly by scheduling/loving him… his way?
NOTE:
This time is NOT to be spent on thinking about what your husband needs
to change. This is about YOU. If you are
tempted in this way, please read Matthew
7:3.
Support / Accountability
What supporting helps do you want or need to create
to help remind you and keep you accountable?
NEED?
More Templates or Samples
- Discuss these plans with your husband (i.e. date night)?
- Update the schedule on the refrigerator?
- Set reminders on your phone?
- Make an appointment on your desktop calendar?
- Fill out the Examen Template (in the appendix) for you to evaluate daily during a scheduled prayer time, to check if you are following through on your 1st - 3rd P commitments.
Do these.
Taking it Further
List of additional resources applicable to the section, if desired:
List of additional resources applicable to the section, if desired:
o Theology of the Body for Beginners: A Basic Introduction to Pope John Paul II's Sexual Revolution, Christopher West
o Natural Family Planning (Did you know divorce rates for NFP couples is < 5%?!)
o Unequally yoked? Feel like your husband thinks he may be 'competing' with Jesus for you? Let Jesus love your husband, through you. Listen to Johnette Benkovik's Story, "For Love and Marriage"
o Married to an Aetheist? Let Jesus love your husband, through you. This Catholic woman's diary turned her husband into a priest. The Secret Diary of Elisabeth Leseur.
o Unequally yoked? Feel like your husband thinks he may be 'competing' with Jesus for you? Let Jesus love your husband, through you. Listen to Johnette Benkovik's Story, "For Love and Marriage"
o Married to an Aetheist? Let Jesus love your husband, through you. This Catholic woman's diary turned her husband into a priest. The Secret Diary of Elisabeth Leseur.
NEED?
More Templates or Samples
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